I‘ve had more people pray for me in the last few years than in my entire life combined.
I know healing is real. I’ve read countless stories in the Bible of Jesus healing people (some sections of Scripture are literally titled “Jesus heals many” because of how common it seemed to be). I’ve seen healings in family members and friends. I’ve heard of healings in my church community that seemed like flat-out miracles. In short, healing is not absent in my circles.
Except for when it comes to me. My healing hasn’t come. What am I supposed to do with that?
In August of 2021, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, an autoimmune disease that affects the brain and spinal cord. In short, the immune system mistakenly attacks the coverings that protect nerve cells, damaging them, which can result in challenges to physical, cognitive, and emotional functioning.
As crazy as it sounds, I knew that complete healing at that time wasn’t what the Lord desired. I believe God was, and is, after a deeper healing with me—a spiritual healing. One that uproots lies, mends wounds, brings freedom from sins, and makes God’s presence more known in my heart and life. Where I am healed deep inside—in my soul.
Often, though, my desire to be healed physically is at the forefront of my mind. Perhaps you two have been there, or are there now. Maybe you’ve had a longstanding diagnosis with no end in sight, or are rehabbing a bad injury, or were born with a disability that can’t practically be fixed. It can be very easy and natural to want our physical bodies to just feel better if they’ve been such torture to us.
And I believe God deeply cares about our physical healing. He made it a point to heal many people in his time on Earth. But more than that, he cared about spiritual healing. Here’s an example of that, in the Gospel account of Matthew:
“And behold, some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.” And behold, some of the scribes said to themselves, “This man is blaspheming.” But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, “Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he then said to the paralytic—“Rise, pick up your bed and go home.” And he rose and went home.” (Matthew 9:1-8)
In this story, Jesus cares about the paralytic man who is brought to him. He cares about his physical healing, to be sure—he heals him of being paralyzed. But before that, Jesus does for him something no medicine of any age would be able to do: He forgives him of his sin—a spiritual healing.
When I was diagnosed with MS officially, I can remember being surrounded by people and them praying for complete healing. I remember being in that circle and having complete peace. I knew that what was happening would glorify the Lord in ways I would never fully understand. I knew that this new journey was what God was calling me to.
Did I believe God could heal me at that moment? Yes. He’s parted the Red Sea, healed paralytics, lepers, and the blind—not to mention raising a friend of his from the dead. I knew He was capable of it. But deep down, I knew the Lord was sending me out to places I had never been before and opening doors that I could only understand.
Early on, I heard some people make the claim that if I just prayed hard enough, had enough faith, ate this, did this, took this, then I would be healed. And four years later, I have not been completely healed, despite trying all of those things. And that is very hard to process, physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s a heavy physical and mental burden to bear.
But despite this, I am being spiritually healed.
I am spiritually healed in the sense that I know that whatever happens, Jesus is always with me and meets me in the struggles and challenges that I face along the way. It has given me joy knowing that His goodness and love never leave my side, no matter what. In return, my story has been used to encourage many others, showing them the faithfulness of God in what happens through everything we go through in our lives.
I believe that physical healing is coming. In the last few years since my diagnosis, God has brought people into my life who have shared similar journeys, taught me more about prayer, and given me so much peace that it is unexplainable. God has taught me just like that paralyzed man, He has all authority over my brain, body, and thoughts. And those are the prayers I pray: “God, I give you authority over my mind, give me clarity.” Or “God, I pray over my walking, you give me strength.”
So I continue to pray for complete healing in the process. Because I believe it will come.
Just not yet.
And until then, and despite whether that physical healing comes in this lifetime or the next, I will pursue spiritual healing all the more—to be reminded of God’s love, forgiveness, and care for me. How He wants to be with me forever and is with me every day. How He gives me purpose no matter what my body is feeling. How He’s making me new each day, until I meet him face to face:
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)
Disclaimer: This article is 100% human-generated.
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